Its starting....

I didnt write today...I havent been in the greatest of moods. I was just wanting Friday to come and go. Jim has duty. Duty is every 3 days now. When we are down to the last few days before he leaves us again for a 6 month deployment, duty every 3 days is keeping me completely disgruntled. YES...unhappy and frustrated. I hate this 'time'...the time we have left before D DAY happens. Its so bittersweet and its just sad. I want to stop the hands on the clock. I want to scream...we have so done our time. 21 years and I am ready for a normal life. Now the insomnia has struck. That is what happens when Jim leaves. My brain is working 100x's faster and no matter how early I try to get in bed. No matter what I drink, read and watch on TV. The insomnia comes. It will stay until he is back home. Safe and sound. This deployment Jim will miss it all. He will miss Jon's 6 birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. He wont be here to Ring in the New Year, Valentines Day, My 40th birthday and our 21st wedding anniversary. He will miss so much and we will miss so much time together. We will miss our daddy. So...its starting...the insomnia is in full swing and right now while he sits on that ship for duty...I am missing him.