Nervous...

So...I am nervous...really nervous. I got a call from the Dr. and he asked if I could please come into the clinic. "He wants to discuss some test results w/ me" Hummm....That usually doesnt mean good news. No news is good news....having the Dr. ( not the nurse) track me down to come in "as soon as possible" is not good news. I had gone to the Dr. and had some bloodwork. I returned and he did some more blood tests and now I got the "call ". I am nervous....I am alone, w/ 3 kids who depend on me and husband who is deployed. I dont want to feel nervous...but I am. Saying some prayers today...

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Its been....

...A MONDAY !! Thats for sure. Woke up Jon for school as usual. We got dressed and he was struggling all morning. Right before the bus comes he runs to the bathroom to start puking !! So here I am...kid in the toilet, dogs going crazy and a bus honking at my door at 6:45 am. By the time I got Jon taken care of...the bus had left. Not that I would have put him on the bus like that but the bus is an ESE bus. It comes to get all the ESE directly at their door. I felt terrible. So I stripped Jon down, set him in the tub and called the bus aide. She was annoyed and I am not sure how much of my "story" she believed but it was all true. Its was a crazy morning. I cant stand when my Mondays start off rough. Thats usually how they stay and this was no exception. We went to the Dr. and he diagnosed Jon with a sinus infection and he heard some gurgling in his chest so his congestion has travelled there. Jon has been congested all week. No fever, just steady congestion and I was hoping it was his allergies....NOT. Needless to say we are back on antibiotics and a z-pack at that. The dr. wants to see him again in a few days to listen to him and make sure he is on the mend. Once we got home...the phone rang.  It was a dear friend of mine. She called to let me know that another couple friend of ours lost their almost 1 year old to SIDS. I was at a loss for words. Losing a child has to be one of the most life changing tragedy any parent can go thru. It was all I could do to keep from crying for them. When I hung up....I tried to lay Jon down but no go. He just wanted to be up playing with his coins and studying his sight words. I decided to open my email and there was an email from another dear friend. Her and her husband are getting a divorce. Another jaw dropping moment. I didnt see that coming. But the military is a rough life. I guess they attempted counselling and he isnt "seeing" a problem and she is "over" it. Just so sad. So...I never got my laundry completed. I never got Jim's box out. I didnt do my usual monday things. It was a BLAH SAD day for me. But tomorrow is a new day...it has to be.

Signed Up...

James varsity soccer season ends in March. He has already signed up for Rec season w/ Amelia Island Youth Soccer League. Today I signed Jonathon up for tee-ball season. Both boys are playing ball :)
They are all about it !! James was stoked that half of his varsity school team is signed up to play at AIY. That didnt happen last year. So he came home whooping it up. When I took Jon to sign up today he was so excited he couldnt contain himself. When we tried his uniform on for sizing purposes...he thought he was playing today. Broke my heart to tell him no, and he cried all the way home. I am so happy that the boys enjoy their sports. Something is to be said about staying active and focused. Sports keep them out of trouble and busy. Especially the teens. It keeps me running and sometimes conflicted and CRAZY...but thats a mom for you :) Always running, cheering her kiddo's on. GO YULEE HORNETS....GO AMELIA ISLAND...GO YULEE LITTLE LEAGUE :)

Nice Quote...

I got this sent to me and I just loved it...

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where
you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are
born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have
received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be
content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.'

A boy and his dog...

Jon and our Dashund were raised together. Jon was a baby when we got Ginger. She was his shadow. She never left his side. When he was anxiety stricken and frustrated w/ no speech. It was as if they had unspoken telepathic understandings of what he needed. When he was newly diagnosed she NEVER left his side. Jim and I would comment about how close they were. As the years have gone by and we rescued our Shitzu Poodle mix from the flea market, we expected the same bond. But like most Austic children...change is difficult. He didnt like Jack Jack. That sweet dog attached himself to Jon and really he didnt want any part of him. As Ginger has gotten older...she isnt as playful and Jon started letting Jack Jack into his heart. The last few weeks since Jim left....Jon started letting Jack Jack in. He started taking care of him. He started feeding him and Ginger. Letting him out, tossing the ball to him every once in awhile. Its warmed my heart. Jon experiences anxiety at time when things at home are too hectic, or he is ill, or when Jim is gone and he is missing him. I have been finding Jack Jack w/ Jon at bedtime. I would shoo him off the bed and when I would go back and there he would be...standing guard of his boy. This has been going on for weeks. I dont bother anymore. It took Jon 2 years to let that pup into his "life" I figured he earned his right to snooze w/ him :)

FRUSTRATED....

Ok...So I took my car in to get an oil change and end up getting a tire rotation, wheel alignment, under carriage re-tacked up and finally the $20 oil change and the final price....drum roll please......$150's later. I almost had a FIT !!  We live on a budget like everyone else and I didnt think my coupn $16.99 oil change was going to cost me 7 times that much. The mechanic has no idea WHY the covering protecting the front portion of the car came un-done. But at one point it did. Of course I am driving on the high way so much to Ds.'s appts and back...that this bumping up and down caused more added pressure and wear on my front end tires. UUgghhh....so I spent 4 hours sitting at the dealership while they removed my front end tires and rotate them to the back. Hoping to save from getting NEW ONES before $40,000 miles. ( which I am NOT even CLOSE to that) Giving the rotated tires a wheel alignment and then tacking up the broken up under carriage cover. Last but not least the oil change. So I am frustrated....and I can scream out loud....AAAHHH
I actually went to where they had the car all up and they showed me what it was they were "fixing" So...I didnt get suckered and truthfully...it needed fixed which makes me even more aggravated. I shouldnt be fixing anything on a new car. Just frustrating....

A neat Saturday...

I woke up this am and sat in bed for awhile contemplating my myriad list of things to do that NEVER ends. So what did I do...nothing. Absolutely nothing. I decided this saturday I was going to take a break. I needed a mom break. I had the week from heck. Several dr.'s appts and more to come, the kids and thier activities, soccer games until 11 pm...I was just beat up. I needed some time to remold my fried brain and prepare for more to come next week. I live far from family and dont get very many days OFF with Jim gone. Everything falls heavily back on my shoulders. Normally I accept each challenge as it comes but for some reason...today I wasnt feeling any of it.

I went and picked up Marin at her friends house, came home and mapped out a list of things to do for the kids. They had chores to accomplish and we still had Christmas decorations still up. I took a long shower, called a girlfriend and asked her if she wanted to go out  today. So...we did. Her mom joined us and I loved it. We went to Kmart, Beaulls and Beaulls Outlet. We also had lunch in Fernandina at the Irish Pub. I found a GREAT peach, tan and pink colored scoop neck shirt for $2.99 and a Tan skort for $7.99 !! I loved them. Because they were petite large sizes which can be difficult to find. I am saving that outfit for my cruise whenever we go. How can you beat that???? AND it looked good. Well I hit the jackpot and ran to the register. I didnt pick up a single thing for anyone else. Not the kids, not my sisters, or family...NOTHING but something for me. Why do we always feel so guilty about that as women?? Guilty about taking time for us and buying for us and well....needless to say....It was a nice neat Saturday. Today I felt no guilt what so ever.

HALFWAY....

WOO HOOO....Today January 5 is our HALFWAY MARK. Well...as close to a half way mark as we are going to get considering we never really know WHEN your coming home SM. Its a guess-stimation. But wow...since today you have been gone 3 solid LONG months. Thats also 13 weeks, 90 days, 2,208 hours, 132,480 min. and 9,948,800 seconds. Thats how much we have missed and how much we still have left to miss or more. But your never far from our thoughts, prayers and like the song says...your already there, take a look around your the beat in our hearts. This video...sent to me by a friend is the wifes point of view. What really resignated with me was that wife saying how she dreamt of him and woke up to him not there. That just happened to me.....All of what they were saying is so true...90 days SM...90 days gone...90 days left to GO


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2gAi6xAxSA

Feelin' Scrappy...

Well thank heavens...that migriane/stomach flu is OVER. Phew...that was rough. I was hoping it would be just like James and last only a day or 2. Now I am sore. Still dont have stuff done I wanted to do BUT...I had a clean ScRaP RoOm !!! So I went in and did 2 layouts. Catching up on being so far behind should be my resolution !! AND I have so many more pics I havent developed. I am picture obsessed. LOL
Well...thats just me...SCRAP HAPPY. Here are my 2 creations from last night ;) I will post to my Chics group too.

Mothers Day breakfast layout

First Spring bloom of my magnolia tree that I LOVE.

SICK...

Not how I wanted to start the year. But a migraine and stomach is just doing me in today.
Here is my favorite childhood poem about being ill by Shel Silverstein.

SICK
"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay,
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is---Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

~Shel Silverstein~

5-4-3-2-

1.....JIM CALLED :) and we all got to ring in the new year together via the phone. 2010 has started off on a wonderful note. It wasnt a long call just a few minutes before midnight but it sure was awesome to hear his voice and now he was out there somewhere :) James, Marin, and Jon were awake. We were celebrating safely at home. He spoke to all the kids for a few seconds, rang in the new year. We will take what we can get and that was an awesome.